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Culture and etiquette

The handful of gestures that mark you as a considerate guest — and the two or three mistakes visitors make without noticing.

6 min read

Cambodian social life runs on calm, deference and the avoidance of open conflict. Nobody expects a visitor to get every convention right, and small mistakes are forgiven instantly. What is noticed, and appreciated, is the effort — and a little of it goes an unusually long way here.

The sampeah

The traditional greeting: palms together at chest height with a slight bow. The higher the hands, the more respect shown — chest for a peer, chin for an elder or someone senior, nose for a monk. You do not need to master the gradations. Returning a sampeah at chest height with a smile is correct in almost every situation a visitor will meet.

A handshake is perfectly normal in business and with younger people in cities. When in doubt, follow what the other person offers first.

Head and feet

The head is the most sacred part of the body and the feet the least. Do not pat anyone on the head, including children, however affectionate the impulse. Do not point at a person or an object of respect with your foot, and do not sit with the soles of your feet aimed at someone, at an altar or at a Buddha image. Sitting sideways with your legs tucked back is the standard solution on temple floors.

Temples and monks

Cover shoulders and knees, remove shoes and hats before entering a sanctuary, and lower your voice. Women should not touch a monk or hand him anything directly — place the object down and let him pick it up. Never turn your back on a Buddha image for a photograph, and never climb on one.

Losing face, and keeping calm

Raising your voice, showing visible anger or publicly correcting someone is the fastest way to make a situation unrecoverable. It causes the other person to lose face, and no amount of being right afterwards repairs it. Complaints land far better delivered quietly, with a smile, and directed at the problem rather than the person.

The corollary: a Cambodian smile does not always mean amusement or agreement. It is also used for embarrassment, apology and discomfort. If a request is met with a smile and nothing happens, the answer was probably no.

Photographs

Ask before photographing people, always, and accept a refusal without negotiating. Never photograph children without a parent present and never give them money — it keeps them out of school. Inside the genocide memorials, follow the posted rules and put the camera away where asked.

Common questions

Is it rude to use my left hand?

Give and receive with the right hand, or with both. Supporting your right elbow with your left hand is the polite formal version.

Can couples hold hands in public?

Holding hands is fine. Kissing and embracing in public are not — including at temples, where it causes real offence.

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